he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
