so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
