Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
