No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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