I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
