I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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