There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
