Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
