...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize