Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
