he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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