Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
