My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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