Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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