What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
