He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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