He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
