shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
