Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
