Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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