Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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