I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
