He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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