Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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