remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
