if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
