Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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