When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
