i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
