bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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