wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
