Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
