You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
