No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
