Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I would fuck him just for his dog
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
