So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
