We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My ass is underappreciated
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
