The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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