hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
