Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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