can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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