I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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