I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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