just tell him i said nine months
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
