He asked me if I "almost moaned"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
