Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
So squirting runs in the family.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
