Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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