how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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