Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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