My liver just broke up with me...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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