anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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