No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
