hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She said her name was "party"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
