i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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