Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
