"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I think im going to throw up on grandma
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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