It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Randomize
