it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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