Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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