so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize