I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize