You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
